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Wednesday, March 30th, 2016 12:20 am
After years away, I've finally decided to revive this journal, since I got sucked into the Les Miserables fandom and can't stop writing Javert fic. I already posted two ficlets to [community profile] pbam, and I've got a long case fic in progress, along with a huge pile of outlines/prompts/plot bunnies. It really has become an obsession. I miss this part of my life. My day job in tech doesn't exactly surround me with creative types, so I'm starved for contact with writers and in-depth analysis. Feel free to drop me a line in my inbox if you wanna chat.

Most of fandom seems to have moved to tumblr, alas, which doesn't have the nice comment system here. Nevertheless, I keep two accounts over there: [tumblr.com profile] extremistonystark for fannish postings, and [tumblr.com profile] firestorm717 for my writing. (Yes, I realize it would make more sense to set the latter as my fandom account, but it's a little too late). The staff recently re-enabled replies, and there's a live chat window as well, so it's possible to have a dialogue on there, though I find it rare.

On the personal side, a lot has changed in my life in the last 4 years. I struggled in my academic career, fell hard and hit rock bottom for awhile - spent a month basically locked in my room, crying - picked myself back up, joined a start-up company and rebuilt my self-confidence, and finally... finally, found a helping hand from a former professor. Things are looking up again: I'll be starting grad school in the fall, and I've already got some interesting projects in the pipeline. Going to be cautiously optimistic, because I fucking deserve it after the abuse I took in my last academic program.

I think I've matured a lot in the past few years. Not just from coping with professional struggles like an adult, but also in seriously reflecting on where I want to take my life, what kind of relationships I want to foster, and where sex and romance fit into all this. I realized recently that gay male erotica, especially slash fic, is an important outlet for me to express my rather... unique gender identity. I'll leave the details for a locked post, but suffice it to say that despite being a straight woman, I do not fit in at all with the mainstream idea of romantic relationships. And that's a real barrier for me, as I try to find a life partner who will understand my core sexuality.
Thursday, March 31st, 2016 01:13 am (UTC)
+hugs+ I am here, okay? It's awesome that fandom has helped you find your way towards clarifying your feelings on sex and romance and relationships. As you know I am an older, straight, married woman, and fandom has helped me re: my core sexuality. Make your locked post, I'll be happy to weigh in.

(OT: Man, I need more Les Mis icons. Mine are all steampunk and American Idol. Have my +hugs+ one ;)) ETA: I stupidly picked the wrong icon. Kris Allen, go hug that man so I can deploy the right icon!)
Edited 2016-03-31 01:15 am (UTC)