Ooh, this is a really great and interesting post, thank you for writing it!

He made money, he dealt with threats, and in return, his wife and children were expected to show him obedience whether or not he actually enriched their lives.

Also this made me think of the Thénardiers and how they're a dark mirror of what a family should be like: this role is Thénardier's, and he doesn't even fulfill it well (making threats and dealing with/spending money, rather than the opposite), and only cares about his family in so far as they're useful to him and his schemes. Whereas Mme T's "motherly love" is not unconditional because she only gives it to some of her children, and it seems to be instrumentalistic in its own way (like, she dotes on her daughters as a way of escapism, giving them romantic names and so on). I think that sublime and noble love is part of what Eponine longs for, too.