Callan Uncovered

[firestorm717]

Since finishing the Callan TV show, I've been craving more of our antihero and his cadre of backstabbing frenemies, but as the fandom is basically nonexistent, I've been forced to turn to official sources to slake my cravings. No, I didn't resurrect James Mitchell and make him write a 234089123 chapter Callan/Meres fic, followed by a live reenactment by zombie!Edward and vampire!Anthony. (Alas!) But I did buy the Callan Uncovered volumes of short stories, which Mitchell first published in the Sunday Express, and which later formed the basis for the TV show and movies. For the most part, they're standard pulp spy fiction - stark and punchy - with just enough scenery sketched in to provide a backdrop to the action. The plots are pretty formulaic too. Hunter gives Callan a target to protect/kill, Callan hires Lonely to do the spying or breaking & entering, something goes wrong because Hunter withheld information, and Callan ends up running-and-gunning (or punching) his way out of a bad situation. Of course he survives, but with a little bit less of his conscience each time.

Did I mention that the writing is incredibly sexist? I counted exactly three female characters who weren't damsels-in-distress or sexy femme fatales. Now, I didn't expect much from '60s pulp fiction, but god damn, did I really have to force myself through some of these stories.

Anyway, you're probably wondering why I bothered. The reason is... because I was looking for some Callan/Meres ship fodder. And I found it! Though not as much as I'd like, since Meres is only a minor character in the stories. Hunter, on the other hand... oh boy, there is some SERIOUSLY slashy Hunter/Callan banter, which I have to share with the fandom. So without further ado, all the ship information you could ask for along with some interesting tidbits that should prove useful to the fic writer.


General Observations

• The primary operatives in the stories are Callan, Meres, and Fitzmaurice. Callan is the best shot, which is evident both in the field and in practice. However, he readily admits that Fitzmaurice (described as a large and very black West Indian) beats him at karate. Meres is the con-man of the bunch, "smooth as a billiard ball", and an excellent driver to boot. He can tail a vehicle like nobody's business and manages to keep a car with a blown-out tire on the road. Together with Lonely as the unobtrusive thief and spy, they would make a great D&D party.


• Callan is often a fish out of water on assignments, as he's expected to mingle with the rich and famous (or just plain rich) as one of their own. Hunter has to school him on proper etiquette, which usually means taking Callan out on dates to the theater, the club, even a ballet performance.


• Early on, Callan loves pulling rank on Meres, forcing the other man to take subordinate roles on jobs, and Meres hates him for it. However, over the course of the stories, there's a subtle shift in their relationship from antagonism to mutual respect to, dare I say, a partnership? Not as obvious as in the TV show, but it's definitely there. By the end of the stories, Callan no longer taunts Meres by assigning him humiliating roles, and Meres seems to have dropped the rivalry, obeying Callan's orders without complaint. It's worth noting that even when they are on bad terms, Callan's first choice for partner is always Meres.


• Callan/Meres are both shown to get nervous during missions. Several times, Callan is forced to face larger, stronger opponents in unarmed combat, and beforehand, he's sweating with dread as he contemplates his chances. Meres admits in File on an Awesome Amateur that he gets stage fright right before an operation. He's shaking after a stint as bait for a sniper, and one wonders if his anger at Callan is just a way to cover up his fear. It's interesting to see these glimpses of vulnerability, as we're reminded that even the best agents are just one false move away from death.


• Many stories mention Section operatives who were captured and brutally tortured to death. One died in the middle of a scream. Another, Callan's trainee, was betrayed by a double agent - Henderson, the only one of Hunter's section to go double. Henderson costs the Section seven lives before Callan manages to track him down and kill him. This bloody history makes me wonder if Callan and his colleagues carry cyanide pills with them in the field... as a last resort, when the suffering knows no end.

Callan Uncovered

1. File on a Deadly Deadshot
   
   
   • Hunter takes Callan to a gentlemen's shooting club and gives him a beautiful Purdy shotgun, part of a matched pair custom-made for Hunter's father. Callan handles the Purdy like a charm, shooting down clay pigeons with perfect accuracy. At the end, he looks at the shotgun in awe and says it's incredible to which Hunter replies, "You both are. Even my father - " But he never finishes the sentence. Mitchell writes: Hunter's father was dead, and he himself had no sons. That was a bitterness he could not share with Callan. Nevertheless, Hunter loans the deeply sentimental Purdy to Callan for a job.
   
   
   • Hunter then proceeds to take Callan to lunch at his club. Callan reacts with surprise, as Hunter never does this for his operatives, again implying a special relationship between the two. Naturally, Hunter has an excuse: he wants to make sure Callan's manners are up to par for the job, which requires Callan to pose as a wealthy gentleman on a Lord's estate.
   
   
   • If Callan's going to pose as a gentleman-of-means, he'll need a valet. Hunter emphasizes that it's expected for someone of his (pretend) station. Callan grins wickedly and asks if Meres is available. Alas, Toby is not, so Callan ends up with Lonely as his smelly valet.
   
   


2. File on a Weeping Widow
   
   
   • The Hunter/Callan flirtation continues. When Callan is dodgy about giving a report, Hunter sighs in frustration and says, "This isn't the time for maidenly coyness, Callan."
   
   
   • Turns out, Callan's trying to protect a lady he likes, who may or may not be entangled in KGB shenanigans, and who Hunter may or may not want to stick in a red file. "Prove her innocent, Callan, or else hand her over to someone who won't care if she's guilty." Callan asks, "Like Toby?" to which Hunter replies, "Meres would handle this one admirably."
   
   
   • After awhile, Hunter gets fed up with Callan's lack of progress and tells Callan to turn the case over to Meres. Callan knows all too well how that will end, so in a rare display of submission, he begs Hunter for another day to set things right: "Please, Hunter... please. I've never asked a favour before." And Hunter ultimately obliges, though with the ominous warning, "I shall expect to be repaid."
   
   
   • Unfortunately, that repayment never comes, as in a terrible moment of vulnerability, Callan falls in love with the lady... and nearly gets killed when his unthinking love causes him to ignore crucial inconsistencies in her appearance. He escapes death in the end - muscle memory is a damn good thing - but Hunter is furious at the resulting mess, and Callan's girlfriend leaves him once she realizes he's a dirty murderer.
   
   


3. File on an Angry Actor
   
   
   • Callan is assigned as bodyguard to an old lady, whom the KGB want to kill. The reason is not important. What is important is how Callan goes about luring out the assassin - by using Meres as bait! And oh, not just any bait... Meres is forced to crossdress as the old lady, complete with a white-haired wig and dove-grey silk dress. Naturally, Meres is furious. Mitchell writes: But Meres knew that his only court of appeal was Hunter: knew, too, that he was under Callan's orders. It didn't make him hate Callan less, but at least he would do as he was told.
   
   
   • While Meres sashays temptingly in the window, Callan stalks and brings down the gunman. Afterwards, Meres pours himself a Scotch, his unsteady hand betraying his nerves. Callan asks if he's alright. Meres replies that he's fine, but feels rather like a fool. Callan tells him to get rid of the gunman's body to which Meres responds sarcastically, "Of course. Just as soon as I've slipped into something a little less formal."
   
   
   • Honestly, I can't believe Mitchell went there with this story. Meres in drag? It's so hilarious and bizarre and... well... actually kinda hot. (Hey, I'm into that sort of thing). A pity Meres didn't get to dress up as a pretty woman. Bet that's the real reason he was upset at Callan ^_~ he wanted to look pretty for his bae. However, with the job well done, there's always time for sexy roleplay!
   
   


4. File on a Lucky Lady
   
   
   • Another job for Callan playing bodyguard - to a rich girl this time. Meres is his in, since Meres is good at wooing rich girls and telling them all about his BF who is "awfully good with a gun." (No innuendo there, LOL).
   
   
   • This particular rich girl really knows how to boss a man around. "Say good evening, darling," she says. Callan obeys. "You see," she tells the gambling table, "He's perfectly well-trained." If Meres got word of this, he'd be snickering at what that training entailed.
   
   
   • The story ends with a team-up between Callan/Meres/Lonely. Callan asks for Meres as his partner, and the two meet at the Section's armory to plan and practice all night. (More PWP fodder!) Then, Callan/Meres run a scam akin to Thor/Loki's "Get help!". Meres pretends to be falling-down-drunk at a party so Callan has an excuse to manhandle him upstairs, where they pick up the guns that Lonely dropped off earlier. The pair take out the baddies quick as can be.
   
   


5. File on a Careful Cowboy
   
   
   • This story is amazing. It's literally I Never Wanted the Job set in the Wild Wild West. Hunter sends Callan to kill a Mafia don as a favor to the CIA. This Mafia don is obsessed with Westerns to the point of building his own dude ranch, complete with horses and taverns and cowboys... and minders to keep an eye out for trouble. Callan needs all the help he can get if he's gonna take this guy out.
   
   
   • So of course, Callan asks for Meres. Hunter is skeptical - an Englishman as a cowboy? But Meres loves the idea, and after fooling around in the armory, Callan realizes he loves it too. The pair of them get all dressed up in cowboy outfits. Callan sports denims and a plaid shirt with a cut-away leather holster tied to his thigh with pig-string, while Meres wears black pants, a black shoestring tie, a black leather waistcoat over a white shirt, topped off by a black flatbrimmed hat. The pair are really too beautiful for words. Then, they practice all day with Colt .45's, Callan always just a little bit faster than his elegant companion.
   
   
   • Callan also recruits Lonely as a stablehand. Surprisingly, Lonely proves to be a skilled horseman, easily mounting and guiding his steed around the ranch. (This contradicts File on a Reckless Rider in which Lonely has no experience riding horses). Meres is less lucky in his pick of a big roan, which leaves him limping. In a rather nasty fit of spite, Callan thinks to himself that he's pleased to watch Meres limp while Lonely is free from pain.
   
   
   • Despite their petty arguments, when the cards are down, Callan/Meres/Lonely work together like a well-oiled machine. Callan loads his gun with the ammunition that Lonely stole from the armory, then takes out the Mafia don in a classic "pistols at dawn" fast-draw scene. Meres snipes two heavies from the rooftops and warns Callan of the third coming up behind him. Bang, bang, all the goons die, and Hunter is most pleased.
   
   


6. File on a Doomed Defector
   
   
   • Callan/Meres set out to lift a KGB defector named Ostrava, bickering all the way like an old married couple. First, Meres complains of boredom in Milan, while the two keep watch outside a gothic cathedral. "How can you just sit there?" he asks Callan, who is admiring the architecture. "I can sit here because nice, kind Mr. Hunter told me to sit here," Callan replies. "So why don't you just shut up and look at the nice cathedral?" Meres mutters, "So everything's nice today, is it?" But Callan doesn't rise to the bait: he has enough on his mind as it is, he doesn't need a punch-up with Meres to top it off.
   
   
   • Meres huffs for the entire seven minutes their target is inside the cathedral, but once Ostrava exits, it's all business. He tails Ostrava's Ferrari through the city and on to the Autostrada like a pro, following it to a restaurant in the countryside. Callan thinks: Say what you like about Meres - and there isn't much I couldn't say about him - but even so he's great with a car. Never obtrusive, always at least two other cars between him and the subject, but always there, clinging like an adhesive bandage. If only he could be like that with people. I choose to interpret this as Callan wanting Meres to cling to him ^_~.
   
   
   • At the restaurant, Callan/Meres are just about to sit down to a romantic meal when Callan's ex friend, Neruda, shows up. Callan doesn't even need to say anything for Meres to sense trouble. He demands to know what's wrong. Callan confesses that Neruda recognizes Ostrava and may be a problem. Meres's eye gets that glittering look that foretells the chance of danger; the chance to hurt. "Do we take him?" he asks, but Callan replies with a sharp, "No." He says that Neruda is a good man. Meres goes back to complaining, "What an old softy you are... First they're nice, now they're good. What on earth is the matter with you?" I'm with Meres here. I too would be upset if my BF interrupted our date in Milan to flirt with his ex.
   
   
   • With lunch ruined, Meres is eager to continue following their target, but Callan tells him to leave it. Meres starts to argue, and Callan pulls rank: "That's an order. You remember orders? They're the things I give and you take." (In bed *cough*). Meres goes back to sulking. He's still sulking the next night, consumed with envy that Ostrava is entertaining girls in a lavish suite, while he's stuck on duty watch across the hall. Callan wisely retires to bed alone.
   
   
   • Finally, late at night, when Ostrava and his goons are drunk off their rockers, Callan/Meres con their way into the suite. They quickly take out the bodyguards, and Ostrava looks up at them in fear, thinking they've come to kill him. Mitchell gives us this lovely line: Meres chuckled, a sound that made Callan think of a silk cord twisting round a neck.
   
   
   • Callan/Meres are driving Ostrava to the airport when the off-front tire of their car blows out. Once again, Callan has a superb opportunity to admire Meres's skill as a driver, as Meres wrestles the wheel, forcing the car to stay on the road. Meres makes the car limp to a lay-by, where Neruda is lying in wait to kill Ostrava. Meres says to Callan, "I rather think you'll need help, old boy." But Callan tells him to stay out of it. He has to face his ex... um, friend... alone. Since this is Callan, you know things don't end well. At least Meres is happy, since he's the only one of Callan's suitors to survive this deadly mission.
   
   


7. File on a Darling Daughter
   
   
   • Callan is sent to keep an eye on the heroin-addicted daughter of an important general. He quickly tracks down her pusher, a pathetic layabout named Billy Bone, whom he could easily take out alone. But since Callan hates drug pushers, he returns to Hunter with a request for assistance - from both Meres and Fitzmaurice. "Good gracious," says Hunter. "I hope the poor chap isn't brittle."
   
   
   • The ensuing scene, told from Billy's perspective, is really a beauty to behold. Meres (the "slim, elegant one") takes the lead in the interrogation, his voice dripping with sadistic charm. "You're going to tell us, sweetie. You're going to tell us everything." When the pusher denies any knowledge, Meres just laughs and draws on a pair of thin leather gloves. "Oh, dear. Manual labour again." Callan asks if Meres can handle things on his own, as Callan would really like some coffee. "Go ahead," says Meres. "Twosomes are by far the most fun." And indeed, Meres has a lot of fun judging from his victim's nasty screams, while Callan and Fitzmaurice calmly sip java in the next room.
   
   
   • For once, Callan isn't bothered by Meres's sadism. In fact, when Fitzmaurice expresses displeasure, Callan reminds his colleague that Billy is pushing heroin. Both Callan and Meres hate heroin. It wouldn't be a stretch to see this job as Callan's gift to Meres, a justifiable use of the latter's talents. And boy does Meres enjoy it. Even after Meres breaks Billy (not a difficult feat), he keeps toying with the man, patting Billy's cheek and calling the guy "sweetie", as he promises to squeeze every last drop of information out of his victim. Anthony Valentine really captured that faux sweetness perfectly in Death of a Friend.
   
   
   • Alas, this story ends in tragedy. Callan can't bring himself to kill the daughter, who's so far gone from heroin addiction that she'd sell her father's secrets for her next fix. He tries to convince her to get treatment, but the daughter despairs at ever recovering, so she commits suicide. Out of all the stories, this ending left me the most emotionally raw because it was just... a father and daughter who loved each other very much, and yet, that love wasn't enough.
   
   


8. File on an Awesome Amateur
   
   
   • Meet Cynthia Widgery - professional ornithologist, world traveler, and amateur spy. Cynthia is a middle-aged woman, tough as old teak, with a grip like a wrestler's and brogues that would terrify a skinhead. Her area of expertise is birds of prey. Upon their first meeting, she's quick to identify Callan as one and proceeds to intimidate both him and Hunter with her domineering personality. The two barely get a word in edgewise, while she lays out the information she's gathered on a Russian defector.
   
   
   • After Cynthia leaves, Callan asks Hunter if she's reliable. Hunter replies with nothing but accolades: "Cynthia Widgery is one of the most competent persons it's ever been my misfortune to meet and the only amateur I've ever used more than once... I wanted her full-time, but she wouldn't have it. She's too busy with her damn birds."
   
   
   • With an endorsement like that, I expected a collaboration between Callan and Cynthia. Instead, the main mission involves Callan/Meres lifting a poet at a costume party. Meres is delighted by the prospect. "I adore fancy dress parties," he says, adjusting his cravat with finicky care. Callan looks at him: knee breeches, buckled shoes, a waistcoat of black and gold; all he needed was a tie-wig to be the perfect Casanova... "You look all right," he says. "You too," Meres replies. He sounded surprised. Callan is dressed as a corsair: soft leather boots, baggy trousers, white shirt, embroidered waistcoat, and a broad red sash round his waist stuffed full of plastic daggers and pistols. If that's not an invitation to write costume porn, I don't know what is.
   
   
   • The sidelining of Cynthia in this story really is a crime. I blame Mitchell's sexism. In fact, I'd say he did it intentionally, because he portrays her as a misogynistic caricature of a feminist shrew, masculine and rude and hypocritical. Callan makes a crack that Cynthia's all about women's lib, but hates to see "birds getting belted", therefore she'll always be an amateur. It's a really shitty ending to what could have been a fun Callan/Meres + Cynthia team-up. I can only hope that fandom will rectify this injustice with fic.
   
   


9. File on an Angry American
   
   
   • Hunter sends Callan, Meres, and Fitzmaurice to protect the wife of a Mr. Paul Ventris. Why is she so important? He won't say. In fact, he's downright shifty with his information, refusing to let Callan see the files on either Ventris. All Callan knows is that Paul is marked for death by the CIA, and he's to ensure that the wife, Jane Ventris, doesn't get shot as well.
   
   
   • Putting on the best of his three suits, Callan poses as the private detective Jane hired to find her husband. When he meets her at the Savoy, the first thing he notices is her terrible taste in clothes. Mitchell writes: ...what he got was beauty, but beauty so ill-clad as to look like a surrealist joke: a perfect rose wrapped in soiled paper... She wore shapeless tweeds and a sweater two sizes too big for her, woolen stockings, and court shoes that must have been going out of fashion when she'd bought them ten years before. But he's quick to add that underneath the clothes, she's really quite beautiful - if she'd just take off those granny glasses! Ugh.
   
   
   • Callan obsesses over Jane's fashion choices for several paragraphs before he starts making any useful observations. He deduces from her speech that she's a highly educated Englishwoman. Her choice of reading for the evening is "Philosophical Reflections" by Ludwig Wittgenstein. Dimly, Callan remembers Hunter telling him that Wittgenstein is the sort of philosopher even other philosophers find heavy going. (No idea how that topic came up - date night at an Oxford salon?).
   
   
   • With Callan tailing her car, Fitzmaurice guarding her door, and Meres keeping a watchful eye at dinner, one would expect Jane to be perfectly safe. Not so. Turns out, our clever lady philosopher with the Oxford first figured out long ago that the CIA goons after her husband are, in fact, double agents. And although her husband is a (soon to be divorced) cheating piece-of-shit, she still risks her life to save him out of moral obligation - hence, all the philosophizing. She brings evidence to Hunter and drives out to warn her husband before it's too late.
   
   
   • On the road, Jane is intercepted by one of the assassins, whom Callan takes out with some difficulty. She patches up his injury, then the two lie in wait for the second assassin. During this time, we're treated to a curious slice of female gaze. Jane's eyes roam over Callan; she's attracted to him and likens him to a cat: "precise, elegant, and quite pitiless." After he kills the other assassin, she propositions him at the hotel and, well, let's just say Callan's a day late reporting back for a reason ^_~. Hunter has no right to complain. As Callan points out, he kept them all in the dark because Jane is his niece.
   
   
   • This is yet another story starring an interesting female character, whom Mitchell tries very hard to ruin with his sexist jokes about her clothes. Fortunately, he fails. Jane comes out looking highly intelligent, principled, and brave. She basically solves the case on her own, and Callan's just the plumber. I wasn't surprised to learn she's related to Hunter - she'd make a great Hunter herself if she could pull her nose out of Wittgenstein. Moreover, she's not afraid to go after men she finds hot, even if it means screwing under her uncle's nose. A real classy English lady!
   
   


10. File on a Harassed Hunter
    
    
    • Hunter spirits Callan away on a romantic honeymoon to Newcastle. Did I say honeymoon? I meant batshit crazy revenge mission, one so out of character that it has Callan questioning his boss's sanity. Yes, Hunter violates all standing orders regarding his safety, traveling by hired Daimler instead of bulletproof Bentley, staying in a cheap hotel instead of a secured Ritz. Callan is his only bodyguard, and boy is Callan unhappy about it because, as usual, Hunter hasn't told him a thing.
    
    
    • At the culmination of a tense evening, Callan grabs Hunter's hand and demands to know what's going on. Hunter finally admits that they're here to kill a man, one whom Hunter must know is dead. He refuses to say more until Callan switches tactics and begs, "Sir, please... For God's sake, tell me." Then, Hunter spills everything. The man they're after is a top KGB assassin, who killed one of his operatives twenty years ago. Callan thinks this is madness - blokes like Hunter expect operatives to get killed, it's their way of life. But Hunter says this one was different... because she was his daughter.
    
    
    • "You've got to be joking," says Callan. "You of all people setting up a hate killing." He demands to know how Hunter could have a daughter, since Section orders state that no chief can have relatives, as it gives the Russians too much leverage. (This is kind of an absurd order and contradicts the TV show). Turns out, this daughter was the product of one of Hunter's past love affairs, and he didn't even know she was his daughter until after she died. A bit late for sentiment, much? But Hunter is adamant that they get revenge, so Callan finds himself dragged reluctantly along.
    
    
    • The rest of the story is truly a comedic exercise, as Callan tries to keep Hunter alive through a poorly thought-out amateur mission with their drunk informant in tow. At one point, Callan says he needs a backup man, and Hunter replies that Callan's got him. "You can't be my backup man," Callan responds, desperate to keep his boss out of harm's way. "You need a gun." He knows that Hunter never carries a gun, as generals never need it. But this time, Hunter produces a revolver.
    
    
    • Despite Callan's fears, Hunter still retains his skills in the field. He knocks out a bodyguard with the barrel of his gun and pushes open a door as deft as Meres or Fitzmaurice. Callan does the heavy lifting though. The final assassination is almost an anticlimax; Callan breaks in and shoots the man in his sleep, two thumps of the silenced Magnum, just like that.
    
    

Miscellaneous Bits and Pieces

• In File on a Reckless Rider, Callan is assigned to stop a sniper. Unfortunately, that sniper's target is an avid equestrian, and the hit is supposed to take place on a hunt. Callan doesn't ride horses (where would a poor city boy find the opportunity?), but he knows Meres does, so he requests Meres for the job of bodyguard to the target - on horseback.


• In File on a Dancing Decoy, Callan surprises Hunter with his knowledge of Petrouchka. Guess our boy isn't as uncultured as we thought. Hunter rewards Callan by setting him up with a beautiful (male) premier ballet dancer, who disguises Callan as... I can only guess, based on the powder blue sweater and amethyst medallion, an effeminate gay man. "You see?" the dancer says. "You can look quite pretty when you try." A shame Meres wasn't there to offer his sartorial opinion.


• In File on a Fearsome Farm, Hunter puts Callan on a diet. Yes, that's right. A diet. He literally orders Callan to go to a health farm because of "All that rich West Indian food - and the beer you had to drink when you were a school janitor. My dear fellow, if you're not careful, you'll become obese." Callan seethes to himself: Hunter paying off old scores was the most insufferable Hunter of all. Nevertheless, he obeys and self-consciously purchases a pair of bathroom scales on his way home. Callan's furious to find out Hunter is right - he's 5 lbs overweight. Those 5 lbs come right off from sheer terror when Callan realizes he's lost his gun during the mission... and rather than admitting his folly to Hunter, opts to face a trained assassin unarmed. Most effective diet plan ever?


• In File on a Pining Poet, Callan has to bring Lonely in to sniff out the heavies at a crowded bar, since he can't pick them out himself. Lonely identifies the two men, but completely overlooks the woman, even though he sees and describes her as the "bird with the muscles." It really is a stupendous oversight by the pair of them, as I figured it out immediately and was actually confused when Callan kept worrying about the third "unidentified" heavy. She's right there you sexist idiot! Callan/Lonely really should have met their end by her hand. As it is, Lonely nearly dies from a bullet, leaving Callan heartbroken for all of the five angsty minutes it takes Mitchell to resurrect him via deus ex machina.


• In File on a Difficult Don, Hunter starts out his meeting with Callan in a whimsical mood. Turns out, his whimsicality is just a false veneer. Mitchell writes: Hunter hated the idea of attacks aimed at members of the Section, hated them so much that exaggerated whimsy was his only barrier against berserk rage.


• In File on a Joyous Juliet, Hunter says he'd very much enjoy seeing Callan in "doublet and hose" on a telly production of Romeo and Juliet. Thankfully, Callan is spared the embarrassment.


• In File on a Tired Traitor, Meres's excellent instincts save him from getting stabbed by an assassin. Alas, his jacket is not so lucky. The knife slices open the sleeve of the best lightweight jacket he's ever owned, a violation that upsets him even more than getting beaten by his assailant. Callan fetches him a glass of whisky and tries not to laugh. Fortunately, Meres also brought his second best lightweight jacket on this mission, which he slides into with a "languid, graceful gesture." This time, he places his hand on his Magnum revolver.


• In File on a Beautiful Boxer, we learn that Hunter memorizes files, Meres loves Spanish food, and Callan will literally let an assassin run off because he's too embarrassed to give chase naked. "Very British" is an understatement. Also, for fic reference, Fitzmaurice's full name is Spencer Percival Fitzmaurice.

Comments

[cerberusia]

Oh, where do I find The Callan File? Your megaupload isn't giving me anything. (Also, lol-ing at 'with rare self-awareness'!)

I like that Hunter/Callan/Meres idea - in the TV series I didn't really think about Hunter/Callan, but the stories have so much! The audio drama really emphasises the date-like atmosphere of Hunter taking Callan to his club. I don't know if I'm the woman to write that fic, but I'd love to read it!

Yes, it wouldn't surprise me if Callan took some satisfaction in seeing stuck-up Meres get knocked out (we're told Callan himself has sadistic tendencies!); but if we're at the point in their relationship where Callan asks for Meres as a partner, I would really expect more reaction to Meres possibly being dead, probably expressed through being overly shouty and rough with Lund. Another one that might need post-story fix-it fic with a spot of comfort for Toby's hurt! For my interpretation of the evolution of Callan/Meres, see my other comment. (Simply, they start off as antagonists, then develop warmer feelings and are frenemies by the middle of the second series - they rub each other up the wrong way and enjoy pissing each other off, but they rely on and trust each other absolutely when the chips are down).

I'm currently listening to File on an Awesome Amateur, which has, depressingly, been made even more sexist. They're an interesting collection, the Big Finish audios. I like them in principle, but I'm having a hard time immersing myself. I'm so wedded to the TV interpretations and the voices and intonation of those actors; I find myself comparing Jeremy Clyde and Michael Cochrane in the Raffles radio adaptations who are such good vocal twins for their TV counterparts. Generally, I find Callan rather too nice, and Meres just sounds very young. I adore the extra bits for Meres in the adaptations, but he's rather lacking in velvety sadism. Though I did like that bit where he comes over all camp ("Hark at 'ee, duckie!") and says very archly that Callan's current appearance would go down very well in certain West End clubs...I'm still not entirely convinced that Meres is very into girls, though, Italian or otherwise. ETA: I do like that Meres' preferred drink is a G&T, though - same :D

What about you?

[firestorm717]

The Callan File is a massive brick of a book, which contains detailed summaries, cast information, and analyses of every Callan series in existence (including the Sunday Express stories). Worth a buy for the devoted fan! I actually started reading the short stories precisely because this book mentions that Meres crossdresses in "File on an Angry Actor" XD.

Awwww man, I've been thinking about Hunter/Callan ever since I listened to the audio dramas. Hunter is such a Daddy!Dom, and it's clear from "File on a Deadly Deadshot" that he sees Callan/Meres as surrogate sons, since he lacks any children or close family members. That whole Purdy shotgun scene reminds me of a father passing down a beloved heirloom, and then there's a bit of Hunter/Meres in the way that Hunter refuses to let Meres lead a mission because he knows Meres's inexperience will get the boy killed. Thing is, I'm not sure how to turn that fatherly affection into a sexual relationship? So far, Hunter in the audio drama is too reserved and formal. The producer needs to give us some teasing, flirtatious Hunter, a la "File on a Deadly Farm" before I can see him fucking Callan over his desk ^_~. (But Colonel Leslie would totally fuck Callan over his desk - that man is a god damn sadist. Probably why he got along so well with Meres. Remember Roskovitch post-interrogation? All sweaty and roughed up, with the two of them grinning evilly).

Have you watched the Callan (1974) movie? That Hunter/Meres gives off major Daddy!Dom/baby!boy vibes ^_~. There's a cute bit where Hunter admonishes Meres, "Toby, we weren't all born in the bastions of privilege."

You should write a fix-it fic for "File on a Jolly Miller"! There's definitely room for a hurt/comfort epilogue - maybe Callan drags Meres home to patch him up? So Meres doesn't have to deal with the humiliation of reporting back to Hunter.

Ugh, I hate how they kept the misogyny in "File on an Awesome Amateur". I was really hoping that, with all the extra scenes featuring Liz, the producers would give Cynthia's characterization a makeover... or at least provide her with an action scene. Nope! Same old sexist caricature. They didn't even talk about her much in the commentary. I'm very disappointed. Now I just want a story with Cynthia, Jane, and Liz being badass and figuring everything out before the guys. (In a modern reinterpretation, I can totally see Jane as Hunter, Liz as an analyst/codebreaker, and Cynthia as senior field agent). The only improvement they made is in the ending, when Callan complains that Cynthia is against "birds getting belted" and Hunter gives Cynthia the last word by saying she meant it as a "question of honor", though IDK if that's just playing off sexist stereotypes again of women being too fragile/delicate to defend themselves *sigh*.

I agree with your criticism of the audio dramas. The VAs are very different from the TV series, especially Callan and Meres. Meres especially sounds like he's 12 years old. I have no idea what his VA was going for - Callan's kid brother? Either way, it robs Meres of all the menace and sadism that Anthony Valentine brought to the character. On the other hand, Callan sounds really... how do I describe it... thuggish? Uneducated? Kind of like a meathead? I know that's pretty uncharitable, but his VA went too far trying to make him sound like a boy from the streets. Edward Woodward certainly gave Callan that working-class twang, but he also emphasized how clever and quick-minded Callan is through his snappy dialogue, which I never got out of the audio drama's VA. IMO, Hunter's VA is the best, as he captures the cold condescension of the aging staff officer perfectly, while providing a glimpse of the cracks in Hunter's armor in "File on a Harassed Hunter".

OMG I missed that campy comment by Meres! When did he mention the West End clubs? And what could he possibly be referring to? ^_~ I want "File on a Gentlemen's Club" that's set in one of Meres's BDSM dungeon parties, ROFL.

You must be more knowledgeable about alcohol than I am - what does Meres's choice of a gin and tonic vs. Callan's choice of Chivas Regal say about the two?

[cerberusia]

Back from Russia! I read the first four Callan novels while I was there, and The Callan File arrived in my absence. I love its analysis of the series 2 change in the Callan/Meres relationship - exactly how I see it. Their rapprochement is definitly prompted by Meres making overtures of camaraderie and 'growing up' a bit, which enables them to develop proper respect for one another. I've just reached the stuff about series 3.

I find it interesting that they put Meres' treatment of Latour in Death of a Friend down to homophobia. I confess I discerned a sexual motive instead: I think Meres rather enjoys terrifying pretty, vulnerable young men. I read a certain overtone of sexual menace to the interrogation scene. Of course, my slash goggles are basically welded to my face at this point...

I haven't yet watched the 1974 film! It's on the list. I have, however, begun that post-Jolly Miller hurt/comfort.

The interviews reveal that 'kid brother' is exactly what Tam Williams is going for. Which is baffling. Especially since one of the writers reveals that Meres was one of his favourites in the original show, so his solution to 'How can we flesh out this short story into a full-length episode?' was usually 'Add more Meres'. And I agree! But I start to wonder which version of the show this writer was watching...And I find Callan's VA too slow and measured: Woodward's delivery was much sharper and more aggressive. You're right that Hunter's VA is the best, and although Frank Skinner's Lonely isn't as good as Russell Hunter's (how could it be? Hunter utterly inhabited the part), I think it's a plausible take.

The 'Hark at you, duckie!' line is in the ninth Awesome Amateur track, just after the two-minute mark. He goes on to describe Callan's outfit, then says 'I can think of a few clubs in the West End where you'd be very popular indeed.' Can you now, Toby...My Iddy Bang does involve the two of them attending a very discreet gentlemen's club for specific tastes, undercover.

In the novels, Meres favours pink gin, which is stereotypically the drink of naval officers - though of course he's Brigade of Guards, so army. Both pink gin and gin&tonic are mixed drinks/cocktails, and a bit 'posher' and less aggressively masculine than Callan's dedication to Scotch, which identifies him as a 'hard' man.

[firestorm717]

Damn, you are one hell of a speed reader! I haven't even touched the novels yet. Can you summarize them? Or at least give me the lowdown on any slashy bits? ^_^

Yes, The Callan File has some great analyses of Callan/Meres's relationship. Anthony Valentine in particular seems to be a secret shipper, hehehe. Though I was disappointed by Edward Woodward's "no homo" in that interview, when he says Callan doesn't love Meres. Clearly, we know that Callan does :P and is just repressing it. Actually, that brings me to an interesting question. So the TV show clearly shows Meres's attraction to Callan, but it's less clear about Callan's feelings toward Meres. I mean, Callan in general is a hard and reserved man, so I don't expect a lot of emotion, but I can't think of many situations where Callan acts like he cares about Meres. The only ones that come to mind are "Where's Toby?" from Where Else Could I Go? and all the times he requests Meres for jobs in the short stories. (And if you're counting Wet Job, Callan asking the new Hunter what happened to Meres, then looking bitterly sad when Hunter tells him Meres is dead). Is there anything else I missed? I just wonder sometimes if Callan/Meres is a mutual ship or is more of a Meres -> Callan pining ship, which could be deliciously angsty in its own right.

I agree with you that The Callan File's analysis of Meres/Latour doesn't make sense. Meres never once alludes to Latour's sexuality during their encounter. The closest may be his line about Latour being "very pretty", which some people might read as Meres mocking Latour for being effeminate (that would fit the time period's homophobia), but Meres says "sweetie" and "darling" to other men too, so it would make more sense to interpret it as a sign of Meres's sexual attraction to men. Clearly, the authors of the The Callan File weren't willing to entertain the thought :P but us slashers do! That Meres/Latour scene definitely depicts the sexual thrill Meres gets out of scaring beautiful innocent boys. All that manhandling and face-touching, OMG! Then, his guilt when Latour dies to save his life - very unusual for Meres. (Now I want fix-it fic where Latour doesn't die, and he and Meres have a dub-con BDSM affair). Meres never acted that way with Roskovitch, probably because the latter wasn't pretty or scared enough ^_^.

Ahhh, I just listened to the audio drama interviews. WTF were the writers watching? I can't believe that script editor said he loved Meres from the TV show... and then inexplicably decided to make Meres completely different in the drama. They also kept going on about how dark the drama was, when I'm like LOL this is puppies and rainbows compared to Callan seasons 1-2. I suppose that to attract a wider audience, Peter Mitchell made the drama a little more optimistic in tone. The original Callan was so dark that I don't think it'd sell well to modern listeners.

Forgive my ignorance of British slang, but what does "Hark at you, duckie!" mean? Is Meres flirting with Callan here? Of course he is, the boy can't stop himself.

[cerberusia]

I'm a fast reader, especially when faced with the prospect of a 2hr train ride, a 40min Tube ride and a 3hr flight! Lots of interesting stuff in the novels. I'll pick out a few bits.

- Meres and Callan hate each other. Disappointingly, although two novels are set post-S2, there's little indication of their rapprochement until the very end.
- 'Taormina was Meres' kind of place: elegant, affluent, and slightly camp.'
- Meres is much more clearly interested in women in the novels, as opposed to the TV series or indeed the short stories. That is to say, he's sexually interested in women: I wouldn't say that he likes women. I would venture that he likes them vulnerable - in the second book, Callan breaks into his house and there's a girl doped on marijuana and speed that Meres has acquired for her (she says she doesn't necessarily like Meres, but he's 'a super lover'(!)). With Eltringham (schoolmate who was in the Guards with him) they talk women, and the narration says something like 'Eltringham was a dilettante; Meres was an expert' - which, to me, is rather like saying a man is an 'expert' in partridge, i.e. as a hunter. He's often shown flirting and charming women to get information, usually with no sincere emotion behind it.
- Further to that last point: Callan knows where Meres lives, in Chelsea; a house Meres can afford through 'private means'.
- Meres is often assigned to work with Fitzmaurice, who delights in pissing him off.
- There are various scenes of Meres torturing people. Always a delight, especially when he starts calling people 'sweetie' and the like. In one, he kicks the victim, and Fitzmaurice immediately stops him - "Hunter said to stop you if you looked like you were enjoying it." "I only hit him once!" "Once was enough." In another scene, one of the victims notes that his voice is slightly breathy with excitement, but his hands are completely steady.
- In the fourth novel, Meres is assigned to manipulate a man called Kleist, by being his friend. His narration - because we get quite a lot of Meres' POV in this book - is a joy for its sarcasm. Also, the narration keeps referring to him as handsome, good-looking, etc. (including sometimes when it's Callan doing the narrating!). Anyway, eventually Meres discovers pornography with a 'mild homosexual theme' in Kleist's attic, and we get this line: Honestly, Hunter should just have told him. It would have made things so much simpler. It's very matter-of-fact, and I dunno about you, but I interpret that as Meres being absolutely willing to seduce Kleist for the job...
- Indeed, one of the things they use to blackmail Kleist is that he appears to have formed a 'romantic friendship with a young Englishman' - i.e. Meres. When we later get Kleist's narration, it's clear that he does have a crush on the 'beautiful young Englishman'.
- Callan shags a lot more women in the novels. The women get varying amounts of character development, but the 70s-style male-female relations get rather wearing after a while.

Yes, the TV show is mostly Meres-->Callan, with Meres doing the flirting. Because Meres is in the subordinate position, I think, he's always trying to get Callan's attention. Callan already knows he's got Meres' attention (because Meres wants his job, if nothing else!), and he doesn't needle in the same way. Despite the rivalry, Callan clearly trusts Meres by The Richmond File, which I think is his way of showing appreciation for him; as is the trust shown when Meres apparently drops round for a cup of tea in some series 4 episode. He doesn't show much concern for Meres, because he trusts Meres to look after himself. Meres getting shot on the job does come up in his confrontation with Hunter at the end of 'Once a Big Man, Always a Big Man', and Callan's clearly unhappy about it and the risk Meres has been put at; but overall, Callan's attitude is less solicitous than Meres' towards him. (Mind you, Meres suffers rather less than Callan does).

'Hark at you' is what you say when somebody says something about you (usually unflattering) that they themselves are guilty of. 'Hark at you, telling me not to forget to put the washing on when you've never done a load in your life!' and all that. Meres goes: 'I love fancy dress parties'; Callan: 'I can tell! [describes Meres' outfit]' So when Meres' goes 'Hark at you' he's pointing out that Callan needn't make comment about how into it Meres is when Callan himself has gone pretty hard in the costume department too. 'Duckie' is a very camp sort of endearment - exclusively used by women and queeny men.